


Message

by rebel_wren



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Crying, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 12:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20506760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebel_wren/pseuds/rebel_wren
Summary: Before Malachor, Kanan left a message for Hera in case he didn't come back, but she never had to see it- not until after what happened on Lothal.





	Message

Hera rubbed her eyes and turned over in bed, towards the just-opened door. Chopper was in the doorframe, rolling up to her bed.

“Do you have any idea how late it is?”

Chopper didn’t say anything, which was odd, he simply stopped himself and turned on his holoprojector. The blue glow was jarring, and Hera blinked repeatedly, shielding her eyes with her hand.

“Kriffs sake, Chop!”

She heard someone clear their throat, and Hera quickly blinked to adjust her eyes, not being able to tell exactly what Chopper was projecting yet.

“Hera.”

A chill ran down her spine. She recognized that voice.

When her eyes adjusted, a hologram of Kanan was right in front of her. He was a little younger, his hair long and pulled back, he had a goatee in lieu of the full beard, and his eyes still sparkled in their natural color, not yet having been blinded.

“Chopper…” Hera said, sitting up. “What is th-”

“I, um,” Kanan’s voice cut her off. “Well, as you’ve probably figured out if you’re seeing this, I’m about to go to Malachor. This is after we talked. And I- I know I said everything would be fine, but I just have a feeling that something is going to happen there. I don’t know what, but I don’t think it’ll be good. So, if… if you’re seeing this, then you know what happened. And if that doesn’t happen, then Chopper you’ll just delete this, right?”

Hera could feel tears stinging at her eyes.

“But, um-” he coughed, and then adjusted his shirt nervously. “Sorry, I should’ve planned this more. First- I love you.”

One of the tears had escaped her eye, and was making its way down her cheek.

“I’ve loved you since the day we met. You’re incredible. You’ve saved my life in more ways than one, countless times. You’ve made me a better person, for sure. You helped me help people. I feel like I’m at my best around you. You’ve always been there for me, you understand me. You- you’ve done so much for me, Hera. You’ve helped me so much. And I hope I did that for you too. At least a little bit. If I haven’t, then I’m sorry.”

Hera stifled a quiet sob with the back of her hand.

“I can’t imagine where I’d be without you. If it wasn’t for you, I never would have found my family, or my home, or my place in the galaxy. _ You _ are my home. And I’m sorry that you have to have gone through this, if you’re watching this. If I was in your place, I don’t know if I’d be able to handle it. I hope you’re remembering to take care of yourself through this, too.”

She rested a hand across her abdomen.

“Don’t be afraid to lean on other people. I learned that through you. I hope you still have Zeb, and Sabine, and Ezra.”

There was an indignant warble in the recording, and Kanan smiled.

“Yes, and Chopper. You- you’re gonna be okay, love-” he stopped to chuckle. “I can’t pull that off like you, huh? But it’s true. You’re the most resilient person I’ve ever met. I know you’ll get through this. You’ve never really needed me-”

“That’s not true,” Hera whispered.

“-and if anyone can do this, you can,” the recording of Kanan continued, his voice beginning to grow a little shaky. “I love you. I should have told you this a long time ago, but… I never wanted to make you feel like you had to say it back, if you weren’t ready. And don’t feel guilty about that. I understand. I just… if something happens, I want you to know.”

He smiled at her, and it felt like a stab in Hera’s gut.

“I know you’ll try and blame yourself. You always want to protect all of us. But this isn’t your fault. Whatever happens, it didn’t happen because of what you did or didn’t do. Please remember that. Always”

Hera felt her lip quivering.

“Oh, and I wanted to say… we’ve been together a long time. Years that I wouldn’t trade for anything.”

The hologram of Kanan paused and pressed his lips tightly together for a moment, as if trying to hold himself together.

“And… and I’m sorry we won’t have any more together, because they’ve been the best years of my life, even when they were hard, because I was with you,” his voice was wobbling now, and he brought a hand up to wipe at his eye.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, his voice finally breaking. “I- Chop, turn it off.”

The recording ended, and the room went dark again as Chopper’s holoprojector dimmed until it was all the way off. Hera sniffled, wiping her tears, and then she laid a gentle hand on Chopper’s dome.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

One of Chopper’s tiny arms extended out to carefully hold a part of her hand, and Hera smiled at him, taking a deep breath. He chattered quietly (quiet for Chopper, anyway), explaining that he hadn’t deleted it when Kanan got back like he was supposed to, but stored it away, and he just remembered it that night.

“You’re a good friend,” Hera replied to him, rubbing the top of him, and Chopper’s next sound was almost like a purr, making Hera chuckle.

“Thank you,” Hera repeated.


End file.
